Hi. This is your cat speaking. I’ve been hearing that you just don’t worry about stuff like earthquakes and storms and landslides. You’re thinking...Can’t happen to you, right? But what about me? What am I? Chopped liver? Yum. Chopped liver. Lovely stuff. [purrrrrrr] Er...sorry. lemme see. Where was I?
Look. Just don’t bother preparing for emergencies if you are so clueless that you think....
...You’re really good at catching mice. Lots of mice. See, King County says it might be two weeks before they get to our little island in a big disaster. They probably won’t be bringing a lot of cat food either. Not the kind I like.
...We’ll never face a power outage, storm, flood, fire earthquake, landslide, falling trees or any other emergency. Good luck with that. We’re family, right? Take care of all of us by making a family plan before a disaster strikes. Write it down. Practice it. I’m a cat so I’ll never thank you, but deal with it. You want gratitude? Get a dog.
...I’ll forgive you for not having spare meds and special diet food. There’s nothing worse than getting down to “empty” on medication or food. That’s a no-purring situation. So, when you get down to half a bag, half a bottle of pills, or half a case of cans, that’s the time to buy the next one. That way you always have some to spare.
...You would enjoy being shredded by a frantic cat. Avoid cat-induced body art. Get a cat carrier. Granny’s has cheap ones. Tip: Put a nice warm towel in for me to snuggle in. And lower me in feet first so I don’t feel like I’m being shoved into a cave.
...You have one of those magic water wells. With magic water lines that never break. And a magic well pump that runs forever without electricity. Store some water for drinking and washing up. And learn how to treat water to make it safe. Or maybe you won’t mind me drinking from the same mud puddle as raccoons and other critters, a recipe for getting very, very sick.
...I packed my own emergency “Go Kit.” Right. All cats do that, pack a go kit. I admit that I climbed into the suitcase last time you packed for a trip. But listen up, dummy. I was just trying to tell you I want one of my own.... toys, blankies, treats, ‘nip, food, water, bowls, etc. ready to grab and go in an emergency. Granny’s has cheap back packs and rolling suitcases.
...You can convince the person who finds me that I’m really yours. Uh huh. I’ll make kissy face with Jack the Ripper if treats might be involved. A chip, collar with I.D. information, and a picture of you with me will help.
...I never poop or pee. Seriously? Absolutely gotta have spare litter and a small portable spare litter box. You say, the cat goes outside? You might need back up if we need to leave home and stay indoors for a few days. Showing up at the neighbor’s door with a sad look won’t get you anywhere if you’ve got nothing for kitty sanitation.